customerservant.com » Order of Morons

In Memphis, Jihad Costs Only $100

Amanda — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 21:57:19 +0000

On Friday, Memphis resident Muhammad Ibrahim entered seven businesses and informed them that if they didn’t close, he would blow them up. Then, when the police pull him over, they discover that he has been telling people that he wants to conduct jihad in Memphis. The police arrest him, and he kicks out the back window of the cruisor and has to be subdued according to reports. Normal people would expect his bail to be quite high. But initial reports say that he was released on $100 bond. Yes, that’s right, there aren’t any missing zeros. That really is $100. Court records now show that his bail is $50000. Ed Morrissey reports that he has left a message with the Shelby County DA’s office to clarify whether the original reports were wrong, and will post updated information once he finds out anything new.

I’d say I’m shocked, but I’m not. I suppose it could have been some Christmas generosity part on the judge, but if it was, what was going through the judge’s mind, especially given the incident earlier in the day? Are people stupid or is it just me? More as it becomes available.

Exploding Chewing Gum Blows Off College Student’s Jaw

Amanda — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 22:28:35 +0000

A chemistry student in the Ukraine was found dead with his jaw blown off by what is believed to be exploding chewing gum, according to reports.

â€¦

The student apparently had a bizarre habit of chewing gum after dipping it into citric acid, Russian news agency Ria Novosti said.

Officers found both citric acid packets and a similar-looking unidentified substance, believed to be some kind of explosive material, on a table near the body, the agency continued.

Investigators suspect that the student simply confused the packets and put gum covered with explosive material into his mouth.

Forensic experts were to travel from Kiev to investigate the substance, as local authorities feared it may explode if transported.

Wow, I don’t think “oops” covers this. I’ve never been tempted to chew gum coated with citric acid, and I definitely don’t keep look-alike packets of explosives in the house, and I don’t think I know anyone else who does either. I’m sorry for this guy’s relatives, and may they be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem, but this guy definitely gets a Darwin award.
(Via)

ISLAMIC MILITANTS In Somalia BAN BRAS

Amanda — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 22:56:40 +0000

This would be funny if women were’nt being severely punished, once again, because of someone else’s craziness and stupidity. A HARDLINE Islamist group in Somalia is publicly whipping women for wearing bras they say violate Islam by constituting a â€œdeceptionâ€. Gunmen from al Shabaab have been rounding up any women with a â€œfirm bustâ€ and whipping them, say residents in the capital Mogadishu. They are then told to remove their bras and shake their breasts. One woman said: â€œThey first introduced a hard fabric which stands stiffly on womenâ€™s chests. They are now saying breasts should be firm naturally, or just
flat.” Read more here.

Court Says Katrina Victims Can Sue Over Global Warming Damages

Amanda — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 22:00:08 +0000

I’m going to have to remember to take this to my business law class on Thursday so we can discuss this in the portion of the class the professor leaves open for us to talk about legal issues that either effect us or that we’re interested in. This definitely gets filed under ridiculous, to say the least. The Fifth Circuit court in New Orleans has ruled that victims of Hurricane Katrina have legal standing to sue over global warming-related damages; the case in question was brought by Mississippi landowners against oil and coal companies they say contributed to global warming—and thus, exacerbated the hurricane’s damages. This seems like an attempted money-grab on the part of the landowners to me. I would have thought that their insurance, (assuming they are insured), covers acts of God, which is what a hurricane would be classified as. I’d ask myself what’snext on the lawsuit horion, but I can’t think of anything more ridiculous than this, except for maybe that lawsuit for a ton of money over the pants or whatever it was that got lost by the dry cleaners, but that one’s already taken. The WSJ Law Blog has more on this. See there for a full discussion of the ruling.

Blind Man Harassed Off Bus Because Of His Guide Dog

Amanda — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 02:27:59 +0000

A driver told a blind cancer sufferer to get off his bus when a woman and her children became hysterical at the sight of his guide dog. George Herridge,
71, told how the mother flew into a rage and shouted at him in a foreign language. A passenger explained she wanted him to get off the bus during the incident
on May 20.
Mr. Herridge stood his ground and refused to leave the bus, and very good on him for that. This is the sort of thing that makes me want to go into activist mode. Guide dogs are an invaluable help to their blind companions, and people have no right to ask that people using guide dogs leave buses, or establishments, or wherever they happenn to be. And people who use religion as an excuse for this sort of abhorrent behavior are in a way worse. It’s like they’re trying to foist their own personal views of purity onto the rest of the world, who may or may not want it. Somehow, I don’t think God, or Allah, or pick the deity is going to send someone straight to hell just because they spent a few minutes of one day in the company of a dog. And as far as children being frightened of the dog and raising Cain, this would be one of those occasions where parents need to take control of the siituation and tell the children to deal with it, instead of convincing bus drivers to expel the passenger with the dog. I consider myself to be a tolerant person. I won’t go out of my way to offend someone’s sensibilities, and in most situations, will even go out of my way to make sure that their sensibilities are taken into account. But this sort of thing is just beyond the pale.

disrespecting The Dead

Amanda — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 20:36:45 +0000

File this under the following:

How not to win friends and influence people
Ways to have your reliigious message rejected
Illustrations of extreme idiocy
Ways to make yourself and your co-religionists look bad

I’m sure there are probably other categories for this but they aren’t coming to mind at this minute. This is the sort of thing that makes me wish sometimes that protests like this should be made illegal at memorial services. You’ll have to watch the video at the link. The screen reader isn’t allowing me to copy the code properly, and/or WordPress isn’t parcing the embed code properly so that the player displays. (Via).
May the mourners Pvt. Long has left behind be conforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.

What Would Jesus Pack?

Amanda — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 21:28:52 +0000

A Louisville, KY pastor is encouraging his congregation to bring fire arms to church on June 27th, in celebration of the 4th of July and the second amendment. This is the sort of thing that transforms simple patriotism into Americanism, the idolatry of preference of some of those who would call themselvves conservatives. Look, I’m in favor of keeping and bearing arms, and I firmly believe in the right to use lethal force to protect loved ones and property. But this is taking it too far. Since when did weapons have a place in worship services? It doesn’t matter if the guns will be unloaded. If they’re going to go to all this trouble, why not just put some of them on the altar and start bowing to them. Maybe even offeer sacrifices and such. They’re already half way there.

What Would Jesus Pack?

Amanda — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 21:28:00 +0000

Mirrored from customerservant.com.